With the numbers of mental health issues on the rise, 19-year-old, Chloe Spedding from Newcastle explains the struggles she faced growing up with a fuller bust and how this has affected her confidence and self-esteem growing up.
What was it like growing up with a fuller bust?
I struggled with finding my fashion sense for ages so ended up hiding myself behind big clothes and baggy tops for a few years in high school. I felt awkward at house parties when I was younger because if I didn’t wear low cut tops I didn’t feel pretty but whenever I did it was the only attention I would get off young boys taking the mick out of big boobs. I also struggled with trying to buy clothes like my friends to fit in but ended up feeling insecure because they didn’t fit me like they would fit them.
Was there a specific moment that you realised that you were treated differently because of your fuller bust?
Yes! I remember this moment so clearly, I remember always feeling a need and pressure during high school to look nice and to dress like all my friends did. Which is wrong now I think about it, but I thought I’d fit in more with the other girls if I was more like them. So I would go out and buy short skirts and low cut tops like everyone else was wearing even though I knew my parents would not approve. So when I actually came round to wearing them, I tried to sneak out of the house without them noticing. Of course, my mam would always spot me somehow and she said something to me once that stuck with me for a very long time. She kind of gave me ‘the look of disapproval’ said ‘are you sure you don’t want to put a vest under that top? Or maybe put a cardi on?’ and I just remember thinking how unfair it was and wondering why there was such a big problem with having my cleavage on show. I mean, I now know why she asked those questions because as I’ve grown older I have faced the consequences of having cleavage on show, the stares, the sly comments. So, I guess my mam was just looking out for me, but it’s a shame that society has put this negative stigma onto women’s bodies. I shouldn’t have to feel ashamed or self-conscious of my body, but sadly I do.
Do you feel self-conscious going out in outfits that may seem provocative simply because there aren’t tops that fit both your bust and waist?
Yeah, I always feel embarrassed, like I hide them in some pictures and wear coats sometimes because I just feel like I get unnecessary attention. I hate it.
What annoys you about having a fuller bust?
Oh, this is my life defined! My boobs are a burden, literally. I hate how I can’t buy bras from most normal shops eg. Topshop H&M, Urban Outfitters, tops fit in a way that makes me look bigger than I am because my boobs make the tops stick out.